bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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