Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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