You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
