i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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