i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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