u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
