i jhust puked up my retainher.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
