Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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