so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
