Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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