She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
