I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
