So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
