Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
