Me too!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
