you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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