that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
