i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
