If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
