I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
