the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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