a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
