I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
im on a boat
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