why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
