If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
