I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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