I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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