Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just high enough for therapy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
