we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
