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Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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