Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
