Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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