I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
