Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
