i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
