I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i think im in europe. pls send help
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
