Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
