I puked a lego.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
