You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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