they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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