i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
