He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
