Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
