yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
