...so i touched it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
