He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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