He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
