Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
