Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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