I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
