i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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